


so close to reaching that famous happy end

by dragongirlG



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Endgame Steve was not real Steve, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, M/M, Natasha Romanov Lives, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Podfic Welcome, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Red String of Fate, Stucky Bingo 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21829903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragongirlG/pseuds/dragongirlG
Summary: Bucky and Steve's soulbond survived the war, Steve's transformation into Captain America, Bucky's fall from the train, Steve's years in the ice, and Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier—but it didn't survive Thanos' snap, as confirmed by Steve's cold post-battle behavior and subsequent disappearance. Bucky grieves the loss of his soulmate and slowly begins to rebuild his life, only for Steve to return unexpectedly with an old friend at his side.An Avengers: Endgame fix-it set in a soulmate AU, written for Stucky Secret Santa 2019. Cross-fill for Stucky Bingo 2019 (square: "grief/mourning").
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 26
Kudos: 252
Collections: Stucky Bingo 2019, Stucky Secret Santa 2019





	so close to reaching that famous happy end

**Author's Note:**

  * For [toolongtooclose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/toolongtooclose/gifts).



> Happy Secret Santa to swordliliesandebony! I hope I've done your prompt justice.

Bucky and Steve's soulbond snapped into existence on Steve's eighteenth birthday.

It was a surprise to them both—but not entirely unwelcome. Bucky had decided a little over a year ago, on _his_ eighteenth birthday, that soulmate or not he would stay at Steve's side forever. The only concern he'd had was whether Steve's soulmate—whenever they were discovered—would agree to it. Steve, meanwhile, never expected to have a soulmate in the first place, and long ago he'd privately decided that he'd stick with Bucky for as long as Bucky and his future soulmate would let him.

When the pair woke up on July 4, 1936 to find a red, glowing thread wrapped around each of their left biceps, connecting them to each other—well. They both let out quiet sighs of relief, and then turned to each other with huge smiles on their faces. Everything was as it should be; they were bonded for eternity, and neither of them had to worry about any interlopers sent by fate.

As dictated by custom, they each pressed a finger to each other's red thread and vowed in unison, " _Tecum sum unus_ ", Latin for "with you I am one." The red thread sank under their skin, warmth radiating from their hearts to the rest of their bodies. The bond, though invisible, could now only be broken by death.

And—well, that was it for a while. Steve and Bucky slept in the same bed and cuddled just like they had since childhood; on occasion, they even kissed or did other pleasurable things. But in public, they were merely best friends. Society still hadn't acknowledged that soulbonds—and romance, and love—could exist between any pair other than a husband and a wife, and Steve and Bucky were careful not to risk any wrong impressions. Bucky still took girls out on dates regularly, occasionally putting in a show of getting Steve a date too. He let his parents, his sisters, his neighbors tease him about being a cad; better that than being labeled queer.

Bucky always thought that Sarah Rogers knew about his and Steve's bond, though Steve adamantly denied telling her. She died before Bucky could ever confirm his suspicions.

Bucky and Steve's soulbond survived the war, and Steve's transformation into Captain America, and Bucky's fall from the train, and Steve's years in the ice, and Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier. Though the bond was weak and muted and cold during the pair's long years of separation, it never faded completely—and its strength renewed tenfold the moment Steve called Bucky's name on the highway in Washington DC. Ultimately, the bond helped Bucky break through his conditioning as the Winter Soldier. And though Bucky decided to keep himself away from Steve—in Bucharest, in Wakanda—until he could recover his own mind, he always thought he'd have a chance to be with Steve again, to openly acknowledge and enjoy their bond as they should have been able to so many years ago.

But then—Thanos, and the Infinity Stones, and dust, and darkness.

When Bucky came back, thrust into the middle of a battle with Steve halfway across the field, he knew something was wrong. The seed of warmth that had been sitting in his chest since 1936 was missing, its absence a gaping hole that Bucky could scarcely comprehend. He watched Steve lift his cracked and broken shield, watched him grasp Mjolnir with shaking hands—watched him mourn Tony Stark with the rest of their allies, and when all was said and done and the battlefield started to empty—

Steve caught Bucky's eye, expressionless, and turned his back without saying anything at all.

The gesture felt like—like Steve was driving a knife into Bucky's heart, twisting it deep into the hole where their soulbond should be.

"Barnes?" asked Sam, brow wrinkled in concern. "You all right?"

Bucky breathed in and out slowly, pressing his palm against his chest through his tac gear. "I'm fine."

Steve avoided Bucky in the days of cleanup afterward, and Bucky didn't push. He watched from the shadows as Steve caught up with all those who'd been missing for five years—all except for Bucky. (And Romanoff, who was apparently dead on some other planet—Bucky's gut wrenched upon finding that out, because he knew Steve and Romanoff had been close.)

Shuri tried to encourage Bucky to "just say something to the Captain, for Bast's sake," but Bucky didn't. Instead, he threw himself into providing manual labor for the reconstruction of the Avengers compound. At night he lay alone in the makeshift camp, staring at the canvas of his flimsy tent as he ruminated obsessively about how the bond could have been broken. Did it happen when Bucky turned to dust during Thanos' snap? He had actually been dead this time, and not just frozen. But shouldn't Steve be rejoicing in the fact that Bucky had returned? Shouldn't Steve be greeting him with the overwhelming happiness he'd expressed at seeing Sam and Wanda and T'Challa?

The answer came to him the night before Stark's funeral: Steve must have found someone else while Bucky was away. The media was awash with stories of people suddenly becoming un-widowed, of having two living spouses and extra children and all the tawdry drama that entailed. Maybe Steve had even formed a new soulbond—and he was too embarrassed to admit it to Bucky.

Or maybe Steve just didn't want Bucky anymore. Maybe he was tired of having to take care of Bucky when Bucky only brought pain and grief and sadness to his life. Bucky had, after all, taken him from his friends and his home and turned him into an international fugitive. Maybe Steve just wanted a _normal_ life now. Maybe he'd even built one already.

The thought settled into Bucky's core, numbing the pain of the missing bond. The next day, when he saw Steve off at the quantum platform, he followed their script to a tee, and so did Steve. They even hugged, and Bucky couldn't help but admit that he was going to miss Steve. But Steve's reassurance that "it was going to be okay" did little to assuage Bucky's grief. He stared blankly as Steve disappeared into time and space—and then failed to return.

"Get him the hell back!" Sam shouted at Banner, desperate and crazed.

Bucky tuned him out and turned away, eyes falling onto a bench near the water. He trudged over to it and sat down heavily, his heart and body aching. Hours passed, and the sun slowly dipped behind the horizon as others came and went. Shuri, trying to offer distraction; Banner, trying to apologize; Wanda and Barton, trying to offer solidarity. Bucky acknowledged them all, trying to show his appreciation, but he found little to say. Eventually they all left, pulled back to the warmth and light of the cabin hosting a celebration of Tony Stark's life.

Sam found him when the sky had gone dark. "Barnes," he said. "Can I sit down?"

Bucky nodded.

"I'm sorry," said Sam. "Steve told me that you two were soulmates. It's—awful, having that bond broken. Feels like nothing's ever going to be right again."

Bucky turned his head. "Who'd you lose?"

Sam swallowed. "My wingman, Riley. He got knocked out of the sky during a mission, and all I could do was watch." He smiled sadly. "Ten years ago now, if I count the ones we were nothing but dust. Still feels like five to me."

"I'm sorry," said Bucky.

"Thanks."

Bucky stared at the reflection of glittering lights on the water, and he said quietly, "I lost Steve before he disappeared today."

A long silence passed, and then Sam asked, his voice carefully neutral, "What do you mean?"

Bucky swallowed past the lump in his throat. "I think the bond broke during the Snap. When I turned to dust." He looked down at his hands, letting his hair fall into his face. "When I returned, the bond didn't."

Sam exhaled loudly. "Shit, Barnes. That's rough."

"Yeah," said Bucky, his voice hoarse. His eyes were hot with tears, but the rest of him felt like it'd never be warm again.

Sam placed a comforting hand on Bucky's shoulder. The two of them sat in silence, mourning the loss of Steve together.

* * *

Four months passed. Bucky dragged himself up every morning, forcing himself to contribute to rebuilding efforts under the direction of Colonel James Rhodes (Tony Stark's best friend, and the only current member of the Avengers with an officially recognized connection to the United States government) and CIA agent Sharon Carter (Peggy's niece who kissed Steve that one time and apparently regretted it the moment it happened). Sam kept Bucky grounded during the day, and the two of them slowly developed a comfortable partnership, even without Steve connecting them.

At night, Bucky dreamed of Steve, all the various iterations of him—small and skinny before their first war, strong and golden as Captain America, bearded and smiling as Bucky's houseguest in Wakanda. Steve rarely appeared as the avoidant and cold leader who'd disappeared with the Infinity Stones, but when he did, Bucky woke up gasping and shivering, feeling even worse than he did coming out of cryofreeze or the Chair—and that was really saying something, considering HYDRA's not-so-generous treatment of the Soldier.

Bucky didn't even try to go back to sleep on those nights. Sometimes he'd patrol the Avengers compound until sunrise, and then he'd make breakfast for everyone; other times, he'd marathon a science documentary, catching up on all the scientific achievements he missed while he was HYDRA's captive. (His favorite subject was astronomy; his second favorite, the deep sea.) Once in a while he'd call Shuri, who picked up whether she was in Oakland or in Birnin Zana, excited to talk his ear off about the latest developments of her technology and her Wakandan education outreach program.

Bucky's birthday arrived without much fanfare. He wasn't sure what his true age was, considering the number of times he'd been in and out of cryofreeze, as well as the five-year gap caused by the Snap (or the Decimation, as they were calling it now.) He guessed he was around thirty-five, more or less, which didn't seem all that important, except that he could run for President of the United States—if the world didn't still consider him a war criminal, that is.

Bucky let out a small laugh at the thought, pulling on his boots and contemplating whether he should ask Colonel Rhodes and Agent Carter for an update on his legal status, when he felt warmth spark in his heart.

He gasped and doubled over as it spread from his heart to his lungs to the rest of his body. For a moment, he thought he'd been shot, but when he pulled his hand back from his chest, there was nothing but flesh and metal. In a blind panic, he swept the apartment for bugs or weapons, but found none—and then, without quite knowing what he was doing, he ran down the stairs and burst out the door of the Compound.

"Steve?" he called as soon as he stepped outside, eyes searching the drive desperately.

"Buck?"

Bucky whirled to his right. Steve—bedraggled, dirty, with a beard almost as long as Thor's—was rounding the corner, wearing a ripped Captain America uniform with his shield on his back. He was carrying the suitcase that had housed the Pym particles.

Next to him was Natasha Romanoff in equally haggard condition, her leather armor fraying at the seams.

Bucky stared at them with wide eyes. "What the hell?" he breathed.

Romanoff waved, smiling wryly. "Hey. What year is it?"

Bucky's heart pounded in his ears. "It's 2024."

"And what date?"

"It's—it's March 10."

"It hasn't been that long for me, then," said Romanoff thoughtfully. She jerked her head toward the front door. "Do you mind? I really need a shower."

Bucky cleared his throat. "Let me just—" He fumbled with the comms device on his wrist, mumbling a coded message into the team's urgent communications channel.

"Barnes, what the _hell_ do you mean, Frankenstein's monster has been revived?" Sam's tinny voice demanded half a second later.

"Well, I don't think I'm hallucinating," Bucky responded without dropping his gaze from Steve, "but I'd like some confirmation."

The door clicked open, and Sam, armed and suited up, stepped outside, blinking hard like he couldn't believe his own eyes.

"Okay," said Sam, visibly calming himself, "What the hell is going on?"

"Hey," said Romanoff.

Sam squinted at her. "Not that I’m not glad to see you, Nat, but aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"It's a long story," Romanoff sighed.

Sam's eyes drifted from Steve to Bucky, and he cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders. "Uh, Nat. How about we go inside?"

"With pleasure," said Romanoff, a smile playing at the edges of her lips, and she followed Sam past the threshold of the door.

"Steve," Bucky breathed as soon as the door swung shut. "Steve—is it you?"

"Yeah, Buck," said Steve with a choked laugh. "It's me. The real me. I'm—I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be gone for so long."

Bucky let out a shocked, hurt noise, and Steve's face fell. "Buck?" he asked, tentatively.

"Come here, you punk," Bucky managed to say past the lump in his throat.

The two of them fell into a hug, wrapping their arms around each other tightly. Another surge of warmth spread through Bucky's blood, and his breath hitched as he breathed in Steve's scent, not caring how rank it was.

“Happy birthday,” Steve murmured quietly.

Bucky blinked back his tears. “Thank you. Steve…where have you been?"

Steve exhaled against Bucky's shoulder. "The first time we…killed Thanos, I—I got trapped in some other dimension. An alien called a Skrull has been impersonating me for the last five years. I guess they did a pretty good job, since not even Nat suspected. And they did help defeat Thanos."

"Our soulbond," said Bucky, his voice wavering. "It—"

Steve's grip tightened. "It broke when Thanos snapped his fingers. And I guess it—it doesn't reach across universes. But it's back now, isn't it? I can feel it." His voice caught. "I—I thought I'd lost you forever."

"So did I," Bucky murmured. "I came back, and…I could tell the bond was gone, and the you—the false you wouldn't even look at me, and I thought you'd moved on. I thought you'd found someone else."

"There's never been anyone but you," Steve said, pulling back to look into Bucky's eyes. "To the end of the line, remember?"

"To the end of the line," Bucky echoed, and he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Steve's, huffing a little as Steve's beard scratched at his skin. "You need a shave."

"I sure do," said Steve, grimacing as he scratched at his cheeks. "You want to help?"

"After you shower," said Bucky. He slipped his metal hand into Steve's, pressing his flesh one to the biometric lock on the door. It disengaged with a loud click, and the two of them stepped inside, smiling as they made their way up to Bucky's apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Jon McLaughlin's "So Close," prominently featured in _Enchanted_. You can watch the scene from the movie [here](https://youtu.be/9zlFuLTNAKw).
> 
> Comments, kudos, and transformative works are always welcome. Please let me know what you think.
> 
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